TAKE ME TO CHURCH
Singing karaoke until the wee hours in a former chapel.
Content warning: Mentions of alcohol and drinking.
Saturday was Valentine's Day the one-year anniversary of my hysterectomy. People always celebrates a birth of a child, and understandably so! But as a child-free person who essentially had a C-section, I think yeeting my myoma-invested uterus is a cause to celebrate as well.
On February 14, 2025, the day of my surgery, a good friend of mine was also at the hospital birthing her baby. I think it's awesome that I get to share this special day with my friends*, so I texted asking about their celebration plans. She invited her entire family over (17 people!), so we will plan for another day. Which meant my February 14th was still open.
*This is including the baby. I'm assuming we're friends because she laughed at everything I did. And at that stage, that feels like friendship to me. (But she can update me with her own words in the future.)
Then, two weeks ago during choir practice, I stayed over in ZĂźrich and was hosted by a lovely person who lives in a commune with 20 other people, in a former church! I had casually mentioned that I love karaoke, and she said that they were hosting a karaoke party in the chapel on February 14th.
Commemorating my surgery with my #1 favorite activity in the world? I WANT IN.
An ex-friend once taught me the power of asking and complimenting to get what you want. I know it sounds manipulative, but know that the other party can always answer no, so it doesn't hurt to try. And you never know how far an ask/compliment can take you.â So I asked if I could join, and thankfully, they said yes.
â That's how I ended up with a beautiful handmade vase that same night, because I had mentioned how pretty it was, and the maker gave it to me because she said it was trash. đ
The night before
I got into bed quite late, but even then, I could not fall asleep. I was much too excited. And nervous. It started to sink in that I invited myself to a party with 10-20 strangers (I asked what the estimate number of people would be so I could mentally prepare), so my mind started spiralling. I tossed and turned, hoping that tomorrow's busy day would generate enough adrenaline to power me through.
The big day
Since I needed some accountability to tackle my lengthy to-do list, I documented the details in my NOTES, so I won't rehash it here. I'll skip right to the good part.
It was raining when I arrived from the station. I had been fretting about what to do about dinner. It's currently Fasnacht in Lucerne, so I avoided the shops at Lucerne main station and I wasn't super hungry when I arrived in ZĂźrich. I decided to stop by the neighborhood Coop and picked up a small bottle of orange juice (my favorite), and a bowl of instant noodles to eat later.
I arrived from the side door, which was unlocked. I timidly entered and saw someone unfamiliar in the kitchen. "Hello!" I said quietly. "Hi," they replied with smile. As I was walking towards the chapel, I could see the outline of my friend, S, from behind the curtain. We greeted each other, and she told me the guest room was vacant so I could drop my things off there.
"Have you guys started already?" I asked.
"No, we haven't!" she said.
I was relieved. When it comes to karaoke, I don't want to miss a thing.
I entered the chapel (which is always freezing cold) to around 15 strangers. My body immediately shrank and I hugged my cookie box. I can't help it, but I have a timid demeanor when I'm not maskingâĄ.
⥠I definitely mask when I'm in an environment where I feel like I need to represent myself, such as a work or government setting. In these instances, I will do my best to appear confident (i.e., shoulders back, smile, eye contact, etc.)
S introduced me to the group and assured me that she also didn't know everyone, and that everyone here is really friendly. And they were! Most people spoke in English, but I never once was told that I should "learn German."
Side note
When I first moved here, people always spoke Swiss German in social settings and would occasionally turn to me and say, "You should learn German," before going back to their conversation. One could argue that they had every right to do that because I'm in their country, but also, if I knew I brought a guest who couldn't speak the language, I would do my best to make them feel included. Perhaps I was in ZĂźrich where people are more internationally-minded, or because this is Gen-Z, but I definitely noticed a cultural shift when it comes to speaking German between the younger and older generations.
There were lots of snacks, wine, and prosecco. I normally don't need to drink to karaoke, but I was getting really nervous. In Bali, I was invited to sing karaoke with a live band at a beach because the singer saw me boisterously singing along. And I ran up eagerly and volunteered multiple times!
Maybe it's because the room was really huge, or because I knew I might see these people again and I wanted to leave a good impression. Regardless, when asked who wanted to sing first, I didn't volunteer and even sat back for the first two songs. That's when I knew I needed some liquid courage.
I know how I am when I'm drunk and I hate using alcohol as a crutch because I go overboard and make a fool out of myself. I vowed never to do it again because I had such a horrible night at a work function, of all places. So I made sure to drink responsibly: One small glass of wine followed by one large glass of water. I think I had a total of 4.5 glasses, and even dumped out the last glass when my body went into alert mode and said, "TIME TO STOP."
I noticed that I drank the most from the group; most people didn't seem to be big on drinking. That helped me make more responsible and sound choices. As I get older, I gravitate more towards this type of crowd.
Karaoke time
Ok, now with the extra details out of the way, I can focus on the karaoke part! I had wanted to start with Hozier's "Take me to Church" as a cheeky nod to the fact that we were singing in a church, but the performance needed was too daunting to start out with as my first song.
Even if I'm nervous, I WILL go all out and sing like I'm on fucking American Idol, because I had made a promise to myself long ago to never quiet my voice for the sake of others. (This is specifically for karaoke though, haha). But I also don't want to look like a show-off, so for my first song, I went with my current go-to: "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal.
I was so nervous I managed to smash my ring because I was gripping the mic so tightly. I can't unsmash it now.
Ok, but first, when karaoking, it's important to notice the karaoke culture of the group.
Karaoke culture
Every group you go with has a specific karaoke culture, whether it's intentional or not. The ones I tend to dislike are the really drunk bar ones, where everyone thinks karaoke means getting absolutely smashed and singing popular hits as a group. No solos, no appreciation for singing, just a hive mind of boorish chanting. It's very broey and I hate it. I still remember my friends and I going into the basement of Barney's Beanery and getting glared at for not wanting to sing Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" in a crowd of frat boys. We even got booed. So we booed back and left.
With my LA homies, we grew up singing karaoke with our families so we're used to everyone having their solo moment. We frequented the Japanese/Korean-style karaoke rooms and all have our own dedicated songs. It's expected that everyone sings their song alone, and while one person is singing, the others are either busy adding songs to the list or hyping up the singer. Karaoking with Usagi in Frankfurt is similar to this. She gets it, and this is my preferred karaoke culture.
At this karaoke party, it felt like a mix of both. Not everyone was really into karaoke, and those people eventually left maybe 2 hours into the party. For the rest of the karaoke enthusiasts, I noticed that the person who assumed the role of MC expected everyone to pair up. So even if you chose a song, it was expected that someone else sang with you. There were only two mics, and everyone else sang along too. The only time one would have a solo was when nobody knew the song. This happened only twice.
Because of this, I decided not to choose songs that I would only know, and tried to find songs that a) I enjoyed singing and b) people most likely would know. But because everyone sang along anyway, I didn't feel like I didn't get enough singing time. Also, when I did request a song to sing, again, I gave it my best performance. This was when I requested to sing, "Take Me to Church," which inspired another person to sing "Too Sweet" with me immediately after.
Also, most of the people really loved to sing. At one point, they couldn't find a Georgian folksong on YouTube, so they harmonized the most beautiful a capella version. This group was also surprisingly multilingual: There were songs in English, Japanese, Turkish, and French!
I think this was a song by Nina Hagen.
There was a Japanese group there too, and two of the dudes rapped this one.
Two Swiss people sang a TĂźrkish song.
I thought I wouldn't like this format, but I quite enjoyed it! We ended up singing until almost 2AM, where we had to force ourselves to stop because some of us kept saying, "Last song!" for the last 5 songs. XD I could've gone on, but I respected that this group also knew their limits.
That night, I tossed and turned again. My mind was still reeling from such a big night: meeting new people, singing to my heart's content. This time, my head was spinning from excitement, not anxiety.
The next morning
I had wanted to write about the following day (life in a secular church commune!), but that will need to be a separate post because this one is so freaking long now. I will say though that around noon, when most of the karaoke people woke up and joined us in the kitchen (S and I got up early because I wanted to see the chickens finally), there were talks about the next karaoke party with an assignment: We each choose a song for someone else to sing, so they need to prepare it for the next party and give "an outstanding performance."
This is when I knew I had found my people. A karaoke singing challenge? Sign me the fuck up. MM mentioned that I should get a German song. Hell yeah. I'm game.
"Are you in for the next one?" she asked me.
Music to my fucking ears.