A STORY ABOUT MY NAME
Hello, my name is Pei-Jeane โโโโโโ. Peige is a nickname I came up with, back when Vince and I started a podcast in 2014. Well, the actual discovery of this nickname happened during middle school, by a now forgotten classmate. We had a substitute teacher that day. Whenever she'd call upon a name, he would jokingly call out a shortened version of said name. When she called my name, he shouted, "Paige." Even though, up until this point, my nickname had been Jeane. It was like a lightbulb moment. Several kids chuckled, but I never forgot that.
Jeane was the name that was chosen for me when I entered preschool. I still remember the teachers telling my mother that it would be easier for everyone to say this.
I hated the name. "Jeane" wasn't even listed in the Baby Name Book, which I obsessively read from cover to cover. "Jeane" was listed as a derivative of "Jane." When I asked my mother why she named me this, she said she thought "Pei-Jeane" sounded French.
Pei-Jeane is actually an anglicized version of my Chinese name, ๆฒๅ, pronounced pรจi jลซn. My sister got a white, American name and I got this. As an Asian kid growing up in the US, I felt it was unfair.
I spent 30 years of my life known as Jeane. That was until 2022, when I joined a hip, young company, where everyone picked out a nickname.
"All my life I was called 'Pat,'" a Patrick told me. "I want to be known as 'Rick' instead!"
An opportunity to test out a new name? This was also around the time where I had recently come out as non-binary to close friends, so a name change felt fitting. "Call me Peige, then," I said. But spelled with an "e," of course.
Peige had always been my secret name, my gamer tag, because Peige the Sage is an unapologetically cool and bold person. Jeane represented my past, a person who was often taken advantage of because of their gullibility. Peige is still gullible, but will cut ties with you if you cross a boundary.
However, I don't want to bash Jeane altogether. Jeane was the silent but strong type. Jeane endured. Jeane got me through some tough times.
Names feel sacred to me. I believe we embody the life we breath into these names, like a spell.
So yes, hello. My name is Peige or Pei-Jeane. Call me both if you want. Nice to meet you.