KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE: HOW I LOST MY ABILITY TO FLY.
A metaphor on letting go in order to find your way again.
Fall is my favorite season. I was born in September, a time when the leaves change colors and stores start selling school supplies, readying for the new school year. The air turns colder which brings about that crisp, woodsy scent that I love.
My perfect go-to movie to usher in autumn is Kikiās Delivery Service (1989). A young girl leaves home to embark on her coming-of-age journey to become a witch, as per family tradition. She flies off on her broom with her talking cat, Jiji, and settles in a village by the sea. There, the local baker offers her room and board in exchange for her delivery services.
Kiki and Jiji flying over cities to look for their new home.
Suddenly, Kiki loses her ability to fly. This sends her into distress as she believes that this is a core element to being a witch. She can also no longer understand Jiji which was probably the saddest part of it all.
Kiki is feeling some type of way about her new life.
However, life goes on. She continues to help out at the bakery, though her air deliveries are no longer available. Meanwhile, Jiji becomes less attached to her and spends more time outdoors, but continues to come back for food and shelter.
She visits a young artist named Ursula, whom she had previously encountered on one of her deliveries. This woman lives in the quaint cabin in the woods and is like an older sister to her. Urusula shows her a painting sheās done of Kiki flying over the night sky, though she still couldnāt get Kikiās face quite right yet.
Kiki and Ursula, the artist.
They have a little sleepover Kiki confides that sheās lost her ability to fly.
KIKI: Before, I could fly without giving it a thought. But now, I donāt know how I did it.
URSULA: When that happens, all one can do is struggle through it. I draw and draw, and keep drawing.
KIKI: But then, if I canāt fly...
URSULA: Then I stop drawing. I take walks, look at the scenery, take naps, do nothing. Then after a while, all of a sudden I get the urge to draw again.
Kikiās ability to fly was tied with her belief in herself. She was feeling insecure in a new environment with new people, some who may not like her or understand her. It ate away at her confidence and she lost a part of herself.
With Ursulaās advice, she lives life as an ordinary person and for a moment she doesnāt worry about flying. Then, she visits the home of a former customer and on the news, there is an airship accident. She sees that her friend, Tombo, is hanging from the airship and will fall.
Kiki rushes to the scene with her broom, and perhaps due to the urgency or the fact that she would be only person that could get to Tombo fast enough if she could fly, kicks off the floor and manages to fly again and rescues her friend.
Even though Kiki and Jiji can no longer talk to each other, Jiji will always be there for Kiki.
I watched this movie two days in a row last year. I had been out of a job for months and was feeling quite down on myself. That conversation between the two of them really stuck with me because, one year later, I feel like Iām still figuring it out.
This past year has been a struggle of accepting that the path I had followed since childhood has reached a dead end. I was taught that I shouldnāt quit things, so accepting that I need to change my career has been really hard.
Itās taken nearly an entire year for me to finally follow Ursulaās advice. Lately, Iāve been taking naps (without the guilt!), going for walks and enjoying the view, reading, and I even started knitting last weekend.
Knitting by the lakeside. Thatās Jiji on my thumb!
When I finally accepted that I need to change, that when one path ends itās ok to turn around and find a new way, I started allowing myself to enjoy things again.
Things do not change. We change. ā Henry David Thoreau
Fall is the season for change. The earth prepares itself for its winter sleep, in order to reawaken, refreshed and renewed, in the spring.