HALLOWEEN PARTIES ARE SO BACK.
Why I hosted my first H'ween party in years.
Iâve spent the last four Halloweens with âjust familyââme, Daniel, Boba, and Spyder (in spirit). It was all because of Spyder.
Halloween was always my favorite holiday, though I didnât care too much for it growing up. We went trick-or-treating as a child and that always scared me. Knocking on strangersâ doors for mediocre bags of candy and the possibility of running into teenagers who wanted to scare the shit out of you wasnât my idea of fun.
It wasnât until my early adult years when I appreciated Halloween for what it was: An excuse to dress up. I got really into making my own costumes. For example, I was a banana in 2010. I made the entire thing out of felt, and I had to hold up the âtopâ of the banana because it kept flopping downwards. I wore that to a warehouse party somewhere in downtown LA, back when I actually went out to parties. I later gave away that costume to a guy I met on OKCupid. We went on one date, he only talked about himself, and he actually asked to meet up for the costume (it was one of my pictures), because he was an actor or something. So yeah, there was no second date.
A banana eating ramen in Little Tokyo. Note the attention to detail on the stem! I was going for realism!
My old boy
Anyway, back to Spyder. He died on Halloween night, 2020. Not only was I devastated that he was gone, I was also worried that this holiday would be forever tainted with the memory of his passing. I still remember my Halloween movie of that year. We watched Alien, parts 1 and 2. We had just moved into my current apartment. We didnât have a bed frame yet, so the mattress was on the floor. We watched the movies on a laptop, with Spyder curled up on the bed with us.
I wonât talk about how he died or what went down that night, but I will share this: After the vet dropped us off at home, I looked at my watch. It was around 11pm, still October 31st. âItâs Halloween,â I remember thinking, âWhat a memorable day to go.â
Spyder and Pilatus in 2016.
Spyder was a manx. These types of cats originated from the Isle of Man. Spyder was from Riverside, CA, but his heritage still stands. I started looking more into Manx history. Their culture is influenced by Celtic and Gaelic traditions. And what did they celebrate? Samhain, the predecessor of what we now know as Halloween.
It wasnât a deep rabbit hole, but it was just enough for me to turn from skeptic to spiritual. My grief manifested into the hopes that Spyder was communicating with me from the other side.
I started researching Samhain practices: Lighting frankincense because of its spiritual connections (I read somewhere that itâs suppose to help connect with the spirit world), carving pumpkins (though we stopped doing that because it was⌠a lot; I just use jack oâ lantern decorations now), and decorating oneâs home for the holiday. I realized that I pretty much do all of these things already, so it made me feel even more connected to this day.
Spyderâs altar on Halloween â23 with the moon in the background.
A year after Spyderâs death, we ordered Indian food and ended up watching Addams Family (1991) because I needed something familiar and lighthearted. And around 10pm I just stood in front of his altar and cried.
The good news: I now felt more connected to Halloween than ever. Itâs still my favorite holiday and I really felt that Spyder left this mortal plane on such an auspicious day because he just knew. There was something so special about that cat, something magical.
The not-so-good news: I used to love spending this holiday with friends but felt too uncomfortable to do so. What if I just burst into tears? What if I donât get enough time with Spyder because Iâm too busy entertaining other people?
My spooky meal from 2023: Squid-ink pasta with a simple tomato sauce, proscuitto, and âeyeballsâ made out of mozzarella and olives. Oh, and lots of garlic.
The Halloweens of â22-â24 were spent at home with the family. We had our quiet traditions, but I missed the celebration aspect of it with others. Samhain is a social holiday, where you bring people together! There were ritual bonfires, back in the day!
So this year, after bouncing back from a friend deprecation, I gained a handful amount to host a party, one week before Halloween. That way, I got my party, and I still have my quiet Halloween tradition of remembering Spyder.
Pumpkin toast made by Viki. The sauce was just pumpkin purĂŠe and garlic. It was so good!
Me, Kiki, the host serving up some fish and pumpkin pie.
New and improved recipe of the infamous pie featured in the movie, Kiki's Delivery Service. Everyone was skeptical of the ingredients at first, but later asked for the recipe because it was surprisingly delicious.
All the guests showed up in Dia de Los Muertos costumes, completely unprompted.
Daniel dressed as a mime who robbed a bank.
I dressed as Kiki again since I had only worn this costume in private. My friend Viki kindly took photos of me posing with Boba, my Jiji! This little cat is so shy, so we only had a fraction of a time to hold this shoot. Next time, Iâll work on improving my poses.
Boba looks so stinkin' cute so I have to share all three pics.
As for October 31, 2025, I will bake a pumpkin pie and cook up something spooky and savory. Weâre watching Sinners (2025) this year, because I heard itâs really good (and scary). Then, Iâll stare out of the darkened window and think about my old boy.